"Please drink our red and shite wines"
- western-managed cafe, Huaihai Rd, Shanghai.

"It is forbidden to urinate or shit in the park"
- official Shanghai municipal parks list of do's and dont's

Posted by Michael Darragh | October 16, 2003 11:51 AM


"Little grass is smiling slightly, Please walk on pavement."
- sign in a beijing park

Posted by ben | October 16, 2003 12:20 PM


"bond daily domestic goods and interior gooks"
- superglue packaging

Posted by kylie | October 16, 2003 12:22 PM


"Mang out after shit"

- sign in Beijing University, Shaoyuan Building 2, August 2001. Alas, someone stole it before I could.

Posted by Brendan | October 17, 2003 01:24 AM


My personal favourite is Beihai parks 'For your own safety, please don't climb the rocketry' - don't know if it's still there though, that was 1999.

Roddy

Posted by Roddy | October 17, 2003 03:40 PM


This is not exactly "Chinglish," but in some ways it's the reverse of that.

I was rather amazed when my friend came to Hong Kong and said "I have to go to that place SHAT IN"

It took me a little while but eventually realised he was talking about SHATIN which is pronounced Sha-Tin.

I told him he was a dumb foreigner, and he said what else could he be?

Yan

Posted by Yan | October 18, 2003 07:13 AM


"Horney caned food"
- sign in a supermarket in Dalian, which made me think deviant BDSM thoughts


Posted by Todd | October 18, 2003 08:02 AM


"big wine store"
well, you can't find beer or hard liquor there and it isn't funny until you realized that what you're seeing is a hotel (da zhou dian)!

then, there is also:

"big rice store"
a word by word direct translation of da fan dian (restaurant)

both examples were found in hangzhou.


Posted by Andrea | October 19, 2003 09:49 AM


"wang out for iowa"

seen a girls shirt in downtown hangzhou

Posted by alf | October 31, 2003 03:05 PM


"Hippety-Hop Happy Pot" - seen on a thermos.

Also, from the cheap bamboo chopsticks in red paper wrappers that you get a lot in Chinese restaurants overseas: "Chopsticks are the glorious of Chinese cultural."

Posted by Brendan | November 3, 2003 05:55 PM


On a billboard in Shen Zhen, advertising a local hotel as a great place to hold meetings:

"A great place for a get to-gather."

Posted by Dean | November 9, 2003 05:16 PM


On a menu in a Wuhan Hotel I found following dish: "Lobster assassinated by Australian"!! It was apparantly literaly translated from the Chinese and was actually "Sashimi from Australian Lobster", where the word "Sashimi" in Chinese is actually something like "Pierce Body" (assassinate).

Another delish on the menu was the "Three Language Fish" literally from "Sanwenyu" = "Salmon"

Posted by Kurt | November 14, 2003 09:40 AM


I'm teaching at a school in Jiangyan, JiangSu, and they just put out a bunch of signs that are supposed to remind kids not to run on the grass (I think). The only one I've found in English says:

"The Grasses's Heart Will Go On"

That's it. There's a pretty picture on it, but it's of a river.

Posted by Anna | November 14, 2003 04:53 PM


This one made me giggle. From the label of a bottle of cough syrup:

It is indicated for the treatment of cough, sputum, dyspnea and feeling of oppression over the chest which caused by wind-evil.

Posted by Daniel | November 14, 2003 09:57 PM


I love that one, Daniel.

Here's another one I found today:

"Please keep your legs"

{On the wall next to the escalators in Shugo's (a grocery store) Jiangyan Store}

No problem, as I'm rather fond of my legs....

Posted by Anna | November 16, 2003 01:53 PM


grin,
we found a classic in the zhazha supermarket in yuxi, yunnan.

a big blue sign advertises:
"Fuck Vegetables"

--the chinese version says 'dried packed vegetables'

I am not making this up, anyone interessted... we took pictures ( who wouldn't have :-)

Posted by claudia | November 22, 2003 12:20 PM


In the Shugo Grocery Store in Jiangyan (again):

Your need! Our Greed!

It had a picture of an employee helping someone find milk.

Posted by Anna | November 26, 2003 11:31 PM


1. Sign on a bar toilet door in Chengdu: "Just Piss. Please."

2. A Chinese friend asked me to bring him back some "potato mud" from KFC.

Posted by Daniel | November 28, 2003 08:17 PM


This classic work of Chinglish from a bottle of Spa H20 Body Lotion:

"Abundant mineral quality and chemical element, can prevent to decelerate the 'orangen the skin' phenomenon, reduces little and fat, sport."

HUH????

Posted by Daniel | November 29, 2003 10:35 PM


On the website for Shanghai's Swan Hotel:

The faulty type of the room is standard room. If you would like to book other types, please indicate in the message area.

Posted by randy | December 1, 2003 03:37 PM


It was on a bottle of face cream, Dabao? maybe,

Reduces signs of premature senility.

We bought several for the folks back home.

Posted by Fiona | December 2, 2003 01:46 AM


on a t- shirt:

let out my pent up frustration
up frustration
up frustration
good humour

Posted by oli | December 2, 2003 08:55 AM


"Vibrate the molecular chain of heart to life" - a furniture in Xinjiahui district, Shanghai

Posted by John | December 4, 2003 11:24 AM


Don't forget to carry your thing.

Found this in a taxi van in Shanghai.

Posted by Dan | December 5, 2003 12:25 AM


Thank you all for your conern on chinglish. As a Chinese, I'd be grateful if you could accompany the correct version with all these expession. thank you again!

Posted by | December 9, 2003 11:39 AM


you should check out the e-zines from www.xianzai.com. they have weekly chinglish pics on some of their ex-pat e-zine. pretty wacky stuff.

Posted by sven stabell | December 15, 2003 01:57 PM


For those in search of a nice bottle of white wine, i've culled this chinglish (transcribed word for word) from a bottle of "xixia king":

"In Yu quan, the temperature of winter is low cool and small rainfall in Summer which make post and disease is not comon and seldom be sprinkled, which make the quality of grape is higher than other [...] all of these make 'xixia king' wine hare a special delicious character."

The only thing that makes the purchase of this bottle/wine is if your post-purchase conversation with the cashier ends with "wish you happy every day"...

(Ian - Shaoxing, Zhejiang)


Posted by Ian | December 17, 2003 06:43 PM


Special features of a holographic mobile phone screen sticker protector:

* Latest n'3d thecolov stickthe
* Very is thin to have noto defend the dear degree of screen
* See long not harm the eye
* Bright, vivid color change kaleidoscopically
* Pattern plentifulness
* Glue to stick the screen not glue gum

Posted by Daniel | December 21, 2003 03:06 PM


For those of you who speak German.
I found a sign on the garage of a Guangzhou Volkswagen dealer, saying:

"VOLKSMAGEN Service"

("Volkswagen" means "People's Cars". "Volksmagen" would mean: "People's Stomachs")


Posted by Bjoern | December 22, 2003 04:21 PM


Found this one in Leshan near the Giant Buddha:

"Pay attention to safety! Nice to live."

Posted by Eric | December 25, 2003 06:16 PM


TO TAKE NOTICE OF SAFE
THE SLIPPERY ARE VERY CRAFTY

On a slope, at the entrance to the mall opposite Bejing Railway station, near the Irish pub. The picture of the sign won my mum a web cam in a competition in the UK.

Posted by Adam Porter | December 30, 2003 03:40 PM


Okay, this wasn't really in China, but it's Chinglish nonetheless. I got it from a Chopsticks wrapper at a Chinese restaurant...note the random capitalizaion, punctuation, and non-words. I have a scan of it if anybody's interested...

"Welcome to Chinese Restaurant.
please try your Nice Chinese Food With Chopsticks
the traditional and typical of Chinese glonous history. and cultual.

Posted by Chris | December 31, 2003 05:53 AM


On the table in a cultured restaurant in Quanzhou, were some wet-naps with the following promo copy: "Perfect conjugal bliss"

English is perfect, but I venture that the intent might've gone astray..

Crackpot Chronicles

Posted by Ellen Sander | January 7, 2004 02:58 PM


Perhaps the best place for classic Chinglish is on the colorful notepads that are popular among Chinese students. These often have hilarious mis-translations.
For those of you familiar with Simon and Garfunkel, a certain text at the top of one pad of paper read:

"Hello dorkness, my old friend..."

Also, on a pirated U2 cd I spotted once, the classic "Where the Streets Have No Name" had become:

"Whore the strees have no name..."

Posted by | January 9, 2004 05:05 AM


nice

Posted by shemale | January 16, 2004 04:15 AM


This one is in fact spoken, not written... I once worked at a Chinese restaurant in Canada that employed waiters and cooks from all over China. As they passed each other in the kitchen the waiters would say "I kill me!"

They were saying "excuse me"!

It seems that some of the new waiters who were just learning English would pronounce "excuse me" like "a kyu mi," and the waiters who had better English recognized that it sounded like "I kill me," which they found very funny. Rather than try to correct the "a kyu mi" they opted to turn it into a joke. So we had an entire restaurant full of waiters running around saying "I kill me" every few minutes.

Posted by byron | January 22, 2004 10:42 PM


On a sign in a park in Nanjing:

"The city likes green. Green likes civilisation."

I speculate that this has something to do with keeping off the grass, but I'm not positive.

Also:

"Please keep off the green."

Posted by Anna | January 24, 2004 11:58 PM


Writ large on a package of _wuji jing_ (black chicken essence) in a Beijing pharmacy:

"ESSENCE OF BLACK COCK"

I thought to myself, "Chi shenme, bu shenme" and very nearly bought some.

Posted by Kaiser | January 26, 2004 03:43 AM


Have no friends not equal to yourself.

Posted by Olsky Charles | January 26, 2004 06:27 AM


I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Posted by Thompson Aimee | January 26, 2004 06:32 AM


was at a restaurant on a universtity campus, on the menu was COCK COLA. any one wanna try?

Posted by Rod | January 26, 2004 04:26 PM


How about a drink of "Spiral Algae - a natural green beverage"?

Another eye-catching product is a bug spray called "Big Pif Paf".

There is also a small shop in Chang Chun called "Depend the little town of grove".

Posted by Russel | January 26, 2004 10:20 PM


There used to be a lamb hotpot near Xiaoxitian in Beijing with a large sign reading "RINSED MUTTON." The proprietor had enough knowledge of English to know to use the past tense of the verb 'to rinse' in adjectival form.

Another classic: A Dongbei restaurant with a menu item called CRAP IN BROWN SAUCE. I couldn't ascertain whether it was supposed to be 'carp' or 'crab.'


Posted by Kaiser | January 27, 2004 10:47 AM


At a supermarket in Zibo, Shandong Province, there was a big sign over the exit that said "Thank You For Patronizing". I laughed all year at that one.

Seen recently around the Great Buddha in Leshan:
"Nice to Live, Pay Attention to Safety"

Posted by Patrick | February 3, 2004 12:39 PM


Nanchang airport's cafe' now serves a coffee and cack (a slang term for, er, manure), I haven't eaten any of it but the translation may be a foreigners revenge after they did.

Posted by Alex Marshall | February 6, 2004 05:29 PM


The OFFICIAL BANK OF CHINA WEBSITE now sports the promise to ..... we will replay to you in the shortest time. I believe that this is meant to be, ... we will reply to you shortly, since this was part of a customers contact form.

Posted by Alex Marshall | February 6, 2004 05:37 PM


sign at park in Jinghong, Xishuangbanna:

Those who are drunk, sick or below 1.1m are forbidd to take paet in suck game!

...no idea what kind of game they were playing.

Posted by Jianfei | February 10, 2004 03:12 AM


I think Andrea got her contribution a tad wrong:
The "Big Wine Shop" is a literal tanslation from "dajiudian" (not "dazhoudian").

My evergreen is the "English" sing on the WC doors in the new railway carriages:
"No occupying while stabling."

Posted by Roger | February 11, 2004 11:56 PM


The covers of pirate DVDs are great, also. From How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (all spelling and punctuation original):

The peaceful(Kate Hudson)of beautiful woman is the columnist of a vogue magazine, responsible for compose the "to be in love the guidebook" a type
of article.At present, she was asc-ended a tough mission by: Collect how to fling off the man the one hand data, peaceful must let a man be in love
with her within 10 days, and then fling off him! It is a pity that her luck to more carry on the back this time, and the target in her is a -- -- this hero is clear ( atthew McConaughey), male, the flower flower of the handsome, typical model son, in the work of an ad agent company. Game the human life of he, just right beat inside for wager, saying oneself can on 10 days with own boss, and let a woman be in love with his

Posted by Brad | February 14, 2004 11:20 PM


On a police station in Qingdao
'Open to Aliens'

I grabbed a pic and threw it up here http://www.network65.com/photos/signs/pic1.php

Posted by ash | February 17, 2004 02:10 AM


Saw a great one on a Chongqing Hotpot restaurant:

"Heavy to celebrate the chafing dish"

The "chong" in Chongqing can also be read "zhong," meaning "heavy." "Qing" means "to celebrate," and for hotpot numerous restaurants use the rarely-seen "chafing dish," my favorite being the Great Grasslands Fatted Calf Chafing Dish Restaurant in Beijing

Posted by Kaiser | February 18, 2004 03:33 PM


"Passengers fo the Old, Weak, Disease, Incomplete, Pregnant and Zh child, Please-
don't want upstairs!"

on a double decker bus, Chengdu, Sichuan

Posted by inbal itzhak | February 26, 2004 02:20 PM


in leshan - birds are our friends

but my favourite in guangzhou - not exactly chinglish - two shops in teen plaza - wanko, and mei dik

Posted by Frances d'Ath | March 1, 2004 06:51 AM


My boyfriend who was recruiting an accountant for his firm received a resume with a cover letter from a local guy. The best part of his letter was in the opening paragraph:

"I will be glad if give me the opportunity of interview, so we can deeply intercourse each other"

Posted by Deeds | March 2, 2004 02:08 PM


Ash, I think I've been to that police station, and that's just how they treat you.
My all time favourite chinglish sign comes from the ming tombs in beijing.
Rule number 5 on the list of park rules is as follows:
5. No fight and scrap, no rabble. No feudal fetish or sexy service permitted in the park.

Posted by Linhairen | March 5, 2004 03:42 AM

不错, 不错, eight day mm辛苦了, 顶一下~~~~

哈哈, 好笑~~~

哈哈,笑死我了!!!!!!
看到那个残疾人洗手间, 我都笑倒在地板上了...

觉得这几个也巨搞笑：
"big wine store" 大酒店

"big rice store" 大饭店

"Fuck Vegetables"脱水蔬菜

"Lobster assassinated by Australian" 澳洲龙虾刺身

On a police station in Qingdao
'Open to Aliens' 对外宾开放

"Please keep your legs" 这个俺就想不出来什么意思了

CRAP IN BROWN SAUCE 螃蟹

很搞笑，残疾人那个最搞了

hahaha...