重新看了一遍MM的贴子，发现也有可能是MM的口语确实差一点，他说EXCUSE ME的时候应该就是没听懂MM说的内容。
如果是这样的话就要想办法练练口语了。
You said you read through again and thinks maybe it might really be the problem of my spoken English. Did you mean you found out because of my written expression is pretty bad too? if that is the case, could you point out a little bit?
I just feel it is hard to find someone to help you on improving whatever you need to. say, nobody will directly say your sentense is wrong, your pronounciation is wrong, not even talk about wrong manners, pessimistic attitude. They are nice to you all the time. That is one reason why I ended up like this. Even have been in this country for almost 6 years, I still have serious problem with communication. What a shame.
Do criticise what you think is not right and will help on other people's growth.
your English can't be bad, not even your spoken Engllish!!
I used to deal with a British gay man a lot and he's the bossman two levels above me. Honestly speaking, that gay man was just "emotionally amusive", intelligent indeed I admit, but he sucked big time showing respect to others...I was truely defeated and felt downhearted for months, not because of work, but because of his attitude and the way I had to communicate with him (and also for the messy managment structure, it's not even clear whom I should report to, I had two bosses at the same time, one on the management side, the other more toward the technical side). I wondered, why each time after I talked to him I felt like shit?! Of course you can imagine I was not the only one who had this problem with him...He did give me praises now and then, but still, my self-esteem was beat on hard, hehe...
Take it easy, and maybe you can google some tips to "fight" with "emoitonally abusive" people, and also, be confident when you talk to him (I think confidence is the key) and silently remind yourself that you have your unique capabilities and values and you deserve all respects.
Look at the bright side, maybe you gotta conqure some hurdles before you hit some goldmine
重新看了一遍MM的贴子，发现也有可能是MM的口语确实差一点，他说EXCUSE ME的时候应该就是没听懂MM说的内容。
如果是这样的话就要想办法练练口语了。
You said you read through again and thinks maybe it might really be the problem of my spoken English. Did you mean you found out because of my written expression is pretty bad too? if that is the case, could you point out a little bit?
I just feel it is hard to find someone to help you on improving whatever you need to. say, nobody will directly say your sentense is wrong, your pronounciation is wrong, not even talk about wrong manners, pessimistic attitude. They are nice to you all the time. That is one reason why I ended up like this. Even have been in this country for almost 6 years, I still have serious problem with communication. What a shame.
Do criticise what you think is not right and will help on other people's growth.
your English can't be bad, not even your spoken Engllish!!
I used to deal with a British gay man a lot and he's the bossman two levels above me. Honestly speaking, that gay man was just "emotionally amusive", intelligent indeed I admit, but he sucked big time showing respect to others...I was truely defeated and felt downhearted for months, not because of work, but because of his attitude and the way I had to communicate with him (and also for the messy managment structure, it's not even clear whom I should report to, I had two bosses at the same time, one on the management side, the other more toward the technical side). I wondered, why each time after I talked to him I felt like shit?! Of course you can imagine I was not the only one who had this problem with him...He did give me praises now and then, but still, my self-esteem was beat on hard, hehe...
Take it easy, and maybe you can google some tips to "fight" with "emoitonally abusive" people, and also, be confident when you talk to him (I think confidence is the key) and silently remind yourself that you have your unique capabilities and values and you deserve all respects.
Look at the bright side, maybe you gotta conqure some hurdles before you hit some goldmine
wow, situation is so similar. I have 2 bosses too. well, he is not exactly a boss, but he is a team member who has much more experience than me and he got onto the project even earlier than the PM. yeah, it is confusing. Sometimes he is nice and encouraging but all of a sudden he can be bossy and rude. I even thought about asking his PERSONALITY TYPE. so, What did you do finally to get along with him? Any tricks? um, I should be more self-confident.
Almost the end of Thursday. I will ask more tonight in Chinese.
重新看了一遍MM的贴子，发现也有可能是MM的口语确实差一点，他说EXCUSE ME的时候应该就是没听懂MM说的内容。
如果是这样的话就要想办法练练口语了。
You said you read through again and thinks maybe it might really be the problem of my spoken English. Did you mean you found out because of my written expression is pretty bad too? if that is the case, could you point out a little bit?
I just feel it is hard to find someone to help you on improving whatever you need to. say, nobody will directly say your sentense is wrong, your pronounciation is wrong, not even talk about wrong manners, pessimistic attitude. They are nice to you all the time. That is one reason why I ended up like this. Even have been in this country for almost 6 years, I still have serious problem with communication. What a shame.
Do criticise what you think is not right and will help on other people's growth.
your English can't be bad, not even your spoken Engllish!!
I used to deal with a British gay man a lot and he's the bossman two levels above me. Honestly speaking, that gay man was just "emotionally amusive", intelligent indeed I admit, but he sucked big time showing respect to others...I was truely defeated and felt downhearted for months, not because of work, but because of his attitude and the way I had to communicate with him (and also for the messy managment structure, it's not even clear whom I should report to, I had two bosses at the same time, one on the management side, the other more toward the technical side). I wondered, why each time after I talked to him I felt like shit?! Of course you can imagine I was not the only one who had this problem with him...He did give me praises now and then, but still, my self-esteem was beat on hard, hehe...
Take it easy, and maybe you can google some tips to "fight" with "emoitonally abusive" people, and also, be confident when you talk to him (I think confidence is the key) and silently remind yourself that you have your unique capabilities and values and you deserve all respects.
Look at the bright side, maybe you gotta conqure some hurdles before you hit some goldmine
wow, situation is so similar. I have 2 bosses too. well, he is not exactly a boss, but he is a team member who has much more experience than me and he got onto the project even earlier than the PM. yeah, it is confusing. Sometimes he is nice and encouraging but all of a sudden he can be bossy and rude. I even thought about asking his PERSONALITY TYPE. so, What did you do finally to get along with him? Any tricks? um, I should be more self-confident.
Almost the end of Thursday. I will ask more tonight in Chinese.
I didn't really get along with him, I just let it be...Since I became passive about my work for a while (and still am, sort of), I used the time to think more about myself. I'm a strong believer that if I'm more mature mentally and psycologically and know myself better, his abusiveness won't affect me, and I believe that gay man sensed my changes, hehe
I really really admire people with strong mindset. I can be strong on my own. I know what I should do or learn. But when it comes to communication, my mind fainted away. It is not like wearing a dress, even other people think it is ugly, you still can be proud and feel very good about it. But for communication, I will always question if there is something wrong I did that offensed other people so they do not like me. Or I should just change the way I am communicating.
It has been 2 days. I decided to learn "take it easy". So, I greeted him in the morning and asked him questions as nothing happened. He was alrite with me. Another issue is I feel afraid to ask other people questions b4 checking with him since he will get unhappy when I did not ask him. It is a totally open working environment, so there is no way for me to just "quietly" ask other people. Only when he cannot give me an answer, I feel free to ask others since we are doing the same project and he got more experience. I hate it. totally.
I really really admire people with strong mindset. I can be strong on my own. I know what I should do or learn. But when it comes to communication, my mind fainted away. It is not like wearing a dress, even other people think it is ugly, you still can be proud and feel very good about it. But for communication, I will always question if there is something wrong I did that offensed other people so they do not like me. Or I should just change the way I am communicating.
It has been 2 days. I decided to learn "take it easy". So, I greeted him in the morning and asked him questions as nothing happened. He was alrite with me. Another issue is I feel afraid to ask other people questions b4 checking with him since he will get unhappy when I did not ask him. It is a totally open working environment, so there is no way for me to just "quietly" ask other people. Only when he cannot give me an answer, I feel free to ask others since we are doing the same project and he got more experience. I hate it. totally.
same here again... I needed direct answers from the developers but that gay man totally shut it down and "forced" me to ask him first and then he gather the answers...I understand where he stood that he wanted the programmers to be less interrupted, but come on, the way he handled it was like a secretary...anyway, he's extremely articulate, and when I "fighted" with him I could not win verbally, but I knew in practice, the way he planned didn't work whatever, it's passed...
stop questioning yourself, and don't be self-critical..."YOU ARE THE BEST", 良性心理暗示works
ha, interesting to know this similar situation. en, i will try that psychological hint. Thanks Candyheart for keep replying me. I feel encouraged. Sometimes it is hard to find answers from the web like turningleaf mm, but I am more lucky? ;-)
I read through all your words, no offense, you do have some problems
on the language and the way of thinking, especially on how to improve
it. Don't rely on others to tell you how to speak, try to learn how,
that's easy, through TV shows,news, dramas, movies and a lot more.
到底了
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