If this really bothers you and your kid, I would 1) ask the other 3 kids to learn what happened; 2) setting up a meeting with the teacher asking her how your kid is doing in school, with an attitude to learn how things were going. At the meeting, you may tell her your kid was upset about what happened at school and you are concerned. Do not accuse or try to tell her how to do her job. Instead, show your support to her. She would know what you want without you asking.

我觉得你儿子可能有先入为主的印象，因为被老师抓过，所以忌惮这个老师并心有不甘。

老师偏袒自闭症孩子可能也是事实。这两个人的度稍微偏一点就是矛盾。

你可以找老师见面谈谈，不要主动说儿子的对她的不适，重点说，今天听儿子讲了老师的家事和班里的自闭孩子，想问问她，家长和孩子们怎么样做，才能更好地帮自闭孩子。要遵守哪些规则?这个孩子的自闭特征怎样?怎么样才能帮他和普通人相处。

等老师把这些方面的顾虑和经历说出来以后，再跟老师讲别的容易被她接受。

这时候讲讲你儿子和另3个孩子做了什么不合适的行为?怎么发现是他们不是别人?这时老师如果说不出具体细节，你就说，会不会惩罚了无辜的孩子，她承认，再讲你儿子的委屈。

再问老师明年是否去初中?哪个初中?教哪门课?祝她工作顺利之类的。

等你把这些事情了解得差不多，就可以经常和孩子与老师沟通。不要提孩子之前卖糖被抓的事。人非圣贤，孰能无错?卖糖不是大不了的小错，赶紧忘记。