I was starting to feel tired of walking. The sunlight started to dim as the leaves blocked the rest that was left of the light. Laura and I was the only two people on the forest floor, the leaves crunched below my feet and the air made me shiver a little. It smelled damp and wet like it had just rained. The forest's ground felt squishy, as I walked along next to Laura.

I was starting to feel tired of walking. The sunlight started to dim as the leaves blocked the rest that was left of the light. Laura and I was the only two people on the fertilized ground, the leaves crunched below my feet and the air made me shiver a little. It smelled damp and wet like it had just rained. Comparing to the trees we were like ants marching. The lanscapes ground felt squishy, as I walked along next to Laura. Just then I felt an itchy feeling on my arm, just as I was about to shoo the bug away i noticed it was raining...

谢谢分享！学习

发现还挺难在这里改的。 你看看，能明白吗？

这个show don't tell, 很多时候是表达了一种有可视感的意境。 就像上面这句话， 每个人有不同的写法， 只要有感觉就好。 不知道你家孩子多大， 中间有几句很不错的。 我放一个在这里做参考。

The clear blue sky was dotted with birds flying home. The sun’s rays filtered through the canopy of the trees, casting vibrant shadows on the plants underneath. The dry orange leaves crunched under my feet as I pulled the collar up on my coat.

写作阅读是一对孪生姐妹。 都说看多了能写好， 这个多看，要看到什么地步？要看到记住的地步。我不知道现在孩子看书，有几个能看到记住的地步的？能记住情节是最大的收获，甚至有些孩子都不能用自己的语言来告诉我们这个故事说了什么。要做到下笔如有神是说的要记住字词句篇章结构，也就是说精读。 阅读不管多大多小，都有精读和泛读两个形式。 训练孩子们看书的时候抓重点。 每个故事都有它发生的5W， 看看书背后的介绍，就是最主要的需要孩子在看完之后需要知道并且能讲出来的东西。 写作的时候，选择事件发生的一个瞬间，一个能以小见大的瞬间是最重要的。

怎么给作文做一个hook？ 几乎每一类文章都要做一个hook， 来吸引读者。 方法各色各样。 家长可以跟孩子们多交流交流。

比如说，对话开头，声音开头， 描写开头，问题开头， 或追忆往事开头， 等等。

举个例子说， 写滑冰，很多开头都会是妈妈带我去滑冰。。。。。。比较漂亮的就是：冰场上一个女孩穿着闪闪亮的黑色礼服，肤色长筒袜， 从我面前瞬间而过，冰刀在冰面上画出一条长线，突然她张开上臂腾空而起， 旋转了整整三周半，落地又接着。。。。。。她就像一只蝴蝶让我的眼睛不能离开她。 这是我我梦想要做的事情。。。。。。

这样就开始了我对滑冰的故事的叙述。

每一个开头都可以讨论几个开头。不要觉得钢琴要练， 篮球要练，数学要练， 而写作就是应该是天生会的。

讲得太好了！