我以前会觉得另一半同理心不够，经常暴力沟通，后来我自己看了非暴力沟通后，觉得有帮助，因为我能清楚的表达我想要什么，他也就清楚的知道给我什么了。而且说实话我以为自己是沟通高手，看完后发现我经常暴力沟通，尤其是对老公，哈哈哈
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Ethangirl 发表于 2021-01-02 01:21
我在楼上提到了一位朋友，她以为自己老公是阿斯伯格，可能鼓励老公，和他一齐来做测验，结果报告出来是她有阿斯伯格。对她来说，是个很难接受的事实。这个 配偶 不愿接受ta自己有自闭症的情况很普遍。
回复 35楼SMT的帖子
Can a person with Aspergers feel love?
https://psychcentral.com/lib/romance-love-and-asperger-syndrome/
“The answer is simple: Aspies and NTs (neurotypical — someone not on the autism spectrum) choose partners just like everyone else. We’re attracted physically, intellectually and emotionally. We enjoy the similarities for the comfort and the differences for the spice.“
（在这楼之后，我会用 neurotypical 来代表不是 Autism 的人。）
“We also unconsciously seek mates who have qualities we lack. Those with Asperger Syndrome are attracted to a strong, compassionate NT who can handle the social world for them. The NT is attracted to the unconventional nature and childlike charm of the AS adult. They may sense that the Aspie will allow the NT her independence. They find out later that the AS mate isn’t supporting independence — he’s simply unaware of the NT’s interests. The Aspie’s attention is narrowly focused on her or his own interests, not that of the mate.
But it’s important to remember that Aspies do love. They just love in a different way. Just as all marriages face challenges, there are things that can be done to help this relationship. If you are in a marriage with someone with Asperger Syndrome and want that marriage to succeed, you must first learn how to understand your partner.”
想了解更多，请点击上面的连接。
MeekSarah 发表于 2021-01-02 00:28
谢谢链接和摘要。
我以前会觉得另一半同理心不够，经常暴力沟通，后来我自己看了非暴力沟通后，觉得有帮助，因为我能清楚的表达我想要什么，他也就清楚的知道给我什么了。而且说实话我以为自己是沟通高手，看完后发现我经常暴力沟通，尤其是对老公，哈哈哈
xinchina 发表于 2021-01-02 01:07
谢谢分享个人经历故事。
我在估计，「说实话我以为自己是沟通高手，看完后发现我经常暴力沟通，尤其是对老公」这种情况，以前的「暴力沟通」表面上效果蛮好的呀。只是裏面对配偶的心理，情绪这些隐性的影响就看不到。
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tidewater 发表于 2021-01-02 01:27
我觉得这是个谱系，程度不同而已。有人比较严重，有人只是marginal。但是边缘型的不是说就不需要帮助不需要被理解，分析出某种行为的neurological 原因会帮助aspire 本人和家人朋友更有效地沟通和相处。
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