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Huaren
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liangping1984

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(干货都没了)从online dating说到bloody gorgeous Harvey!

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2013-05-15 01:09:00

cute-wheat mm:) -----

[此贴子已经被作者于2013/10/28 22:24:51编辑过]

Huaren
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2013-05-16 13:56:00

Wheat mm, let me explain a little bit tonight. :)
Huaren
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2013-05-17 01:02:00

以下是引用cute-wheat在5/16/2013 4:00:00 PM的发言:

kk. just so u know, u dont have to write in english if u find it hard to address ur issue. im using my man's laptop these days, and dont wanna install a chinese software on it. BTW, i really like ur pic.. i wanna ROU LIN those white fluffy little paws so bad

Kk. 终于装了个软件,打中文。英文表达到不了期望值。中文华丽丽的退步。


话说,baby都刺激不出我很大的母爱,但是对于毛绒玩具没有抵抗力。我男朋友经常觉得我就是个baby。而且我还很爱撒娇。汗一个。


 


言归正传。解释一下我的情况。我想说的事情是,我很赞同楼主的说法,(play hart to get). 因为其实开始的时候我没有想过我和他会在一起。所以我很很把持的住。因为我觉得反正也是个朋友,没有什么说要impress他。所以算是歪打正着我们在一起。但是我们开始dating到relationship之后我就败了。我犯过很多楼主说的dating的错。我质疑过问什么不很快回我的短信呀。为什么不想和我在一起,其实我们在一起的时间挺多的。而且我也常常撒娇又固执,偶尔也无理取闹。另外,我说的subtle是指play hard to get微妙,我可以感觉出来如果我很咄咄逼人的要他做我希望他做的事情。他就有的时候觉得我expectation太高,而且不一定会做我想做的事情。但是我要是有的时候很忙没有空搭理他的时候,他倒是很热情的粘过来,也装装乖。


 


然后我说的女生impress他的部分,解释一下。他的感情经历倒不是十分丰富。他是挺招人喜欢的那种吧, 主要他性格上有一点好就是对别人的人生很感兴趣,加上他很喜欢体验, 声音超级好,自弹自唱 (话说也是看上这一点),rarely get bored with him。上个周末我们聊天的时候,我就问了问他觉得女生主动的是什么感觉。他就说他以前尤其是在学校的时候,是挺多女生会主动。但是他觉得女生最好是不要主动,可以偶尔给一点暗示,给男生一点追求的信心。He said: “If you try too hard to impress someone, you are just not yourself anymore.” 我倒是没觉得我won him over. 我最多也就是开始的是kind of hard to get,more like be myself. 后期就不行了。看到楼主的贴后, 狂pai自己100次。觉得自己犯的错也太多了。其实他有多少女生追过。以前历史是怎么样。我倒是兴趣不大,过去就过去了。要是特别想知道顶多就是想知道分手的原因。因为我倒是觉得这个有利于知道他之前不足的地方。这样有没有把我上回的post解释清楚?我的表达呀,汗一个


 


我挺希望这段relationship 有结果。我就是一恋爱就没有方向感。pai自己100下。我想知道这样可以不总是以他为先。怎样可以看出对方commitment程度。怎样实践play hard to get in a relationship。 而且我也很好奇,楼主婚后也一样会实践这个原则么。


 


打字还真是体力活。我睡去。明天来看看帖子。good night。

Huaren
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2013-05-17 08:39:00

早上醒了看到mm的回复。一阵激动。 要上班了, 回头细细体会。 big hug good morning wheat mm.:)
Huaren
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2013-05-21 00:33:00

以下是引用cute-wheat在5/20/2013 9:46:00 PM的发言:
im closing up this thread. no longer offering my opinions on yr dating/relationship questions. i noticed a lot of ppl asking questions without thinking through, and i lost interest in keeping repeating myself. most of the answers can be found in the first 2 pages, and COMMON SENSE. WISE UP. no more dumbass excuses. if u wanna be an idiot believing that ur man is different from the rest, good luck.

Cute wheat mm. thank you so much for all your suggestions. Just read the tao of dating and the two other books you mentioned. A lot of principles you mentioned already. I am taking a break to observing myself and lay a schedule to enrich my life. Plan to learn dancing first. You are closing up the thread. hope will still see your good post and keep in touch. mm have a good night.

[此贴子已经被作者于2013/5/21 0:39:05编辑过]

Huaren
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2013-05-22 00:01:00

Wheat mm, I just saw your reply after my favorite dinner. Very happy. Haha. I agree with you. You have many more important things to do. I think I am kind of nice not sure how much I am. I thought I should learn to be less nice. haha :) I appreciate people who speak up their opinions and practice them. You are one. I am sure I will still make mistakes, but I will learn too. And for sure I will keep you posted. If you ever come down to the south, let me know. :) Since you like fluffy stuff. Here is one, my special cute collection for you. Good night. [upload=jpg,p_large_xqwx_750300039bb85c72.jpg]UploadFile/2013-5/2013522002922076.jpg[/upload]

[此贴子已经被作者于2013/5/22 0:02:15编辑过]

Huaren
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2013-07-21 01:17:00

终于又看到cute wheat mm的帖子了。激动中。超级同意多看书充实自己。自己鞭策自己中。 我觉得中国的背景帮助了我和老板很多的谈话。觉得自己超级talkative.
Huaren
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2013-07-30 00:56:00

Cute wheat mm, just read the emails you posted. Many thanks for sharing these precious thoughts with us. I love them sincerely, especially the part about personality and characters. When I looked back of my relationship with my boyfriend, I can definitely find the reflection of the points your man pointed out in the letter. Culture and family up-bringing granted me the unique Chinese way of thinking, feeling and expectations on relationship. It took us many conversations and arguments to build the foundation to understand each other's personality and Characters. We are still discovering each other. Again thank you very much for thoughts.
Huaren
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2013-08-19 23:56:00

I just saw this, makes me think of "Suits". " Strong women don't play victim. Don't make themselves look pitiful & don't point fingers. They Stand and they deal." 有震撼力。大家对于外柔内刚都有什么看法,都是怎么样表现在生活中的呢?我一直都特别佩服刚柔并济女生。
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Huaren
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2013-08-20 00:21:00

以下是引用cute-wheat在8/20/2013 12:11:00 AM的发言:

你这段只说明了女人刚的一面,没显出柔的一面。

 

女人当然做到刚柔并济,敢做刚当,但不代表being tough就能赢得男人的心。自己什么都能解决,那还要男人做什么?

sometimes u HAVE TO appear vulnerable. - guys need that. it satisfies their ego and manhood. they like to feel manly from time to time. but its tricky to know when you should do it, and when not. doing it too much or too little makes your man drift apart from you.

cannot agree more. I haven't found the balance. The tricky part for me is more like a talent. I feel like i am testing the water all the time.
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