linda527
阅读写作的那些事
10万+
98
2020-10-27 14:19:13
Show don't tell， 是一个在descriptive writing/narrative writing里常用的手法。 有兴趣的妈妈让孩子写几句回帖在这里。
show me : I walked through the forest. It was already Fall and I was getting cold.
Dabendan 发表于 2020-10-25 19:26
我讓孩子寫了一段 請指教
I was starting to feel tired as the forest started to dim. Laura and I was the only two people on the forest floor, the leaves crunched below my feet as the air started to get chilly. The cold and miostured air tingled my skin, it smelled damp and wet like it had just rained. The forest's ground felt squishy, as I walked along next to Laura.
Show, don't tell,是一种太常用的描写的手法。 一般是不想让关键字出现， 而用sentence来表达。 比如这句话， 不想出现的关键字是forest, fall 和冷。 那么怎么写都不要出现这几个字。 你再试试看？ 中间的两句不错的。
Dabendan 发表于 2020-10-29 12:35
I was starting to feel tired of walking. The sunlight started to dim as the leaves blocked the rest that was left of the light. Laura and I was the only two people on the forest floor, the leaves crunched below my feet and the air made me shiver a little. It smelled damp and wet like it had just rained. The forest's ground felt squishy, as I walked along next to Laura.
Show, don't tell,是一种太常用的描写的手法。 一般是不想让关键字出现， 而用sentence来表达。 比如这句话， 不想出现的关键字是forest, fall 和冷。 那么怎么写都不要出现这几个字。 你再试试看？ 中间的两句不错的。
Dabendan 发表于 2020-10-29 12:35
I was starting to feel tired of walking. The sunlight started to dim as the leaves blocked the rest that was left of the light. Laura and I was the only two people on the fertilized ground, the leaves crunched below my feet and the air made me shiver a little. It smelled damp and wet like it had just rained. Comparing to the trees we were like ants marching. The lanscapes ground felt squishy, as I walked along next to Laura. Just then I felt an itchy feeling on my arm, just as I was about to shoo the bug away i noticed it was raining...
到底了
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